First Encounters

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Ah, the questions that plague the mind of a twenty-something. Welcome to a world where political debates are spawned exclusively by Trivial Pursuit and long-term goals are next Saturday night’s plans. What really holds the attention of this rare breed is the matters that relate to those infamous birds and bees, the boy meets girl stories (and Boy Meets World stories, for that matter). 

On the docket today is a much-disputed (and yes, ok, shallow) inquiry. The first meeting/date: just how far is too far if you want it to last?

The decision to go far fast is certainly questionable in and of itself. Even those who one-night stand (yes, I made it a verb, deal with it) would agree there are risks. And before the arguments begin, let’s exclude the ignorant portion of the population who refuse to believe that STDs (approximately one in five Americans have an STD, and more than one million people in the U.S. are living with HIV) and unplanned pregnancies (don’t worry, only about half of pregnancies in the U.S. are typically unplanned) aren’t really a big deal.

Okay, stepping off the soap box now. Yes, we’ve all made mistakes that may or may not have included that oh-so-debonair waiter from the Red Lobster. (Really, who can think clearly through the haze of those biscuits anyway? Biscuit goggles. They’re no joke.) The real issue, though, is when a few too many leads to a tryst too quickly with a person you may actually want to see—gasp—again.

The possibility of that person retaining respect, or even interest (let’s be real), for you is probably pretty low. Blah, blah, blah, something about buying a cow and milk is free, whatever. But it appears to be supported by field research.

One unidentified twenty-something male followed the doctrine of been there, done that. As in, well, it’s obvious. He had absolutely no interest after an initial encounter. Another advised that, hey, MEN LIKE THE CHASE, which is a completely new—No. No, it’s not. This haunts the mind of every girl as she considers her texting policy with a new guy. Do I text back right away? Can I text first? Ahh I cringe just thinking about it.

Story time.  A friend, let’s call her “Diet Coke” (as in one delicious sip leads to a bitter aftertaste, amirite?), did indeed have sexual relations with that man, only to realize after four hours of pillow talk that She. Liked. Him. The horror, that DC threw this away over a spring fling flung too far. A casual run-in at a bar a few days later led to a casual lip-lock and exchange of phone numbers, but he didn’t call. Perhaps he will, one day when world peace is achieved and clouds rain down IBC root beer and everyone eats their way through giant fatless chocolate chip cookies instead of working. And they will ride off into the sunset, the princess and the “p” that surfaced too early in her bed but lived happily ever after anyway.

But probably just keep it in your pants until there’s some form of commitment. Just in case.