The Fade Out: An Exposé

My sincere feelings on the Fade Out. Source: Google Images

The Bermuda Triangle. Dead zones. The space-time continuum (maybe?). Death. To someone who has not been called/texted back, these begin to seem like very plausible options. They provide some peace of mind that maybe, JUST maybe, it’s not their fault. It’s the Universe.

The Fade Out. Most have done it or had it done to them at some point. Both sides are extremely awkward and uncomfortable, but the people of Generation Y have decided that this bit of discomfort pales in comparison to the awful “it’s not you, it’s me” speech, or even worse, the “it’s you” speech. (Yeah, right. Like people would tell the truth! Sheesh.) Unfortunately, in today’s media-soaked society, where there are boundless ways to contact someone, it’s difficult to convince oneself that they lost the number or are just realllly busy right now, so busy that they can’t even look at their phone for 3.5 seconds to send a text.

So. Should the Fade Out be the preferred option, or does full disclosure soften the blow?

Fair warning, this may get uncomfortable. Already some are hearkening back to that magical night of sushi and ice skating, wine and conversation. Deep meaningful looks and shared wonder that a good first date was finally, finally to be had. But of course it wasn’t, because a second was never attained. Yes, love was eternally lost, blah, blah, BLAH. Now stop eating that chocolate bar and pay attention.

Similar to the ebb and flow of emotion of one who has been faded (ha), this investigation begins vaguely and painfully. From Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy: “Do I make it that easy to walk right in and out of my life?”

Ouuuuuch. Yes, the initial realization of a Fade Out often makes its victim question their self-worth. Aren’t they fun? Are they so forgettable that someone can disregard them without so much as a look back? These are the things they ponder while gently weeping into their Baskin Robbins Peanut Butter ‘n’ Chocolate (or something).

Next phase: indignation (for those who have ANY sense of self-respect). How dare they not call me, I should have done it first, etc., etc., etc…Usually most folks eventually get round to the biggest problem with the Fade Out: curiosity. Because we are American, and it is our right to know.

One unidentified male proclaimed that the most frequent reason for the Fade Out is the return to an ex. Just a guess, but speaking from the perspective of those who have FO’d this is BS. Field research (definitely NOT personal experience) indicates much more basic reasoning. In fact, a reason isn’t even required. Sometimes people just don’t want to see each other again.

People don’t get this. There is absolutely no way anyone can like everyone they date. It’s mathematically impossible (probably). The mere fact that Trekkies exist means there is an undateable portion of humanity. If only the world could grasp this concept, full disclosure would reign once again. “Hey, this isn’t really working.” “I know!”

Unfortunately there are exceptions and people are difficult (ugh), but we should all really take a cue from The Invention of Lying. Next first date that doesn’t pick up the tab, tell him (or her? That would be weird) what a loser he is. Puts out too quickly? Puttanesca (Italian for whore’s-style spaghetti, it’s quite good).   Doesn’t ‘dance’? AS if.

Yes, next time that person won’t accept the fact that they’ve been faded out after two skipped texts, one ignored call and voicemail, AND a denied Facebook request (can’t make this stuff up), give full disclosure a try. Curiosity may kill the cat, but criticism will finish the job.

Oh, and check in for the next segment on DESPERATION.